Magpies v Cillit Bang

Every Monday morning we put the bin bags outside. As soon as I open the door I can hear them.
Sitting on the roof of the house opposite waiting, screeching and flapping around, awaiting the arrival of the feast.

I can guarantee that even before I have gone back inside the house and closed the door, at least two of the bastards have pounced already, ripping open the bin bags and dragging out the contents.

They are soon joined by the rest of their gangster mates; I have seen as many as 12 magpies before now, bouncing around the rubbish and pulling it to bits. The mess is horrendous. It's hard to imagine that these birds could cause so much mayhem. There are 60 houses in this road and almost all of them are attacked by these pests.

A couple of weeks ago I decided enough was enough, when I came back to find wet, stinking rubbish all over the drive, the worst one yet.

I bought some Cillit Bang oven cleaner and sprayed it all over the bags last week and it seemed to deter them. We still have a few rips in the bags but it seems the smell of the spray was too offputting so they went to attack next door's rubbish instead.

This week, the little horrors have worked out a way around it. They must have seen me spraying the bottom half of the bags, as that's the bit they usually rip open.
I have just looked out and they have changed tactics. Three of them sitting on the top of the bags, avoiding the smell of the oven cleaner.

I never believed it would be possible to hate something as much as I do at this moment. They have pulled almost everything out of that bin bag and are now throwing it around near my car.

Fucking anarchists of the bird world.